How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
