This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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