Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
