We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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