Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
