i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
