i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
