so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
