is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
