he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
