Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Boobs are out for the taking
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
