I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
