u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
