My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
