Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
This house was built for laser tag.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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