school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
