part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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