Its about making memories worth repressing
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
