I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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