OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
