we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
