Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
