I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
