you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
