No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
