Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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