Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
