If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
