I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Randomize
