I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
