He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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