then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
