They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
