a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
How external is "for external use only"?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
