I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
