You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
