I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
