weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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