omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
