I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You pole danced in your parka.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
