If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
