Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
