he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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