ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I wear drunk well.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
