he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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