Having a random hookup so left but love u
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
