I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
