We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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