yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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