You just made me feel so damn special
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
