if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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