At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Randomize
