Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
they're like a gay fantastic four
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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