I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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