Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
